And then it hit me

I went to the visitation for my grandma.  Her funeral will be tomorrow afternoon.  It will be my first funeral.

I suppose I had to go to one eventually.  I should be thankful that I've lived this long without going to one.

Anyway, at the visitation there were treats, tea, and coffee.  I avoided the coffee because I think that 99% of coffee smells wonderful, but tastes like liquid ass.  So I had tea.

Half-way through my second cup, which I basically only got because I wanted something to do while sitting around talking to family members, it hit me:

The tea sucked.

I was there, sitting at in an uncomfortable chair, awkwardly smiling at family members and people I didn't even know that kept asking me how I was, (and this time, I know damn well that "good" was not the right answer) surrounded by pictures and memorabilia of my dead grandmother, and the tea didn't even have the decency to taste good.  And it'll probably be the same tea tomorrow.  And I'll probably drink it.  And I'll probably feel bad.  And then I'll probably feel bad that I don't feel worse than I do about the fact that my grandma is dead.

I really don't feel like any more tea tonight.